QC Affirming Diversity

Are all gay men just superficial disco bunnies with only one thing on their minds? The mass media would certainly have you believe that is so, and with figure heads such as Boy George and Julian Clary, who can blame the public for going along with this idea. Of course, straight acting gay men are just harder to detect. So homophobes continue with their prejudices and the 21st century, thinking gay man gets very lonely wondering where all the men like him are! How, then, do intelligent professional gay men meet each other? There are thousands of clubs and pubs, dating agencies and personal ads for cruising purposes, but it can be extremely difficult to meet professional gay friends for purely social purposes, where a deeper relationship may develop. This is where the gay dining club comes to the rescue. I recently tried Out & Out, London’s longest established dining club for professional gay men and was amazed at how civilized an evening with 40 gay men could be.

Out & Out was started by the disarmingly charming and truly scrumptious Julia Melinek. Eleven years ago, opera singer Julia (she’s sung Madam Butterfly for English National Opera) and fellow warbler, Mark Glanville (more recently the author of best – selling book The Goldberg Variations) realised that they were so good at organising dinner parties for gay colleagues that they might as well do it professionally. As Out & Out, they booked a stand at a Gay lifestyle exhibition at Earl’s Court and pretty much became an instant success. Today they’re the biggest dining club for professional gay men in the UK, with a membership that sometimes hits a thousand. They are not just another gay dating service in London. Through the gay dining club format, members can meet new friends, network professionally and chat without any of the posing and cruising obligations of the scene.

How did they do it? Professional fag hag (it’s her description) Julia reckons that, as far as social skills are concerned, “you’re born that way.” But she likens her table – hopping duties at Out & Out functions to those of the circus plate spinner, forever dashing to give the plate at the end another twirl. Having seen her in action, I can confirm that, like the guy with the plates, she performs apparently effortlessly. But what is it with Julia and gay men? “There’s a special relationship between straight women and gay men,” she explains. “It’s like the girlie friendship, opposite sexes getting on with each other without the sexual tension.” The personal touch extends to communications with the Out & Out office. There are no mail-shots. Julia and Mark can spend eight hours a day on the phone, telling members about upcoming lunches and dinners, plus other events including theatre visits, foreign trips and boat cruises. Clearly the label ‘Gay Dining Club’ only reveals part of the picture as members use the club for professional networking purposes, expanding their social horizons, debates, message posting and of course, inevitably, for gay dating.

But, ultimately, is it all about sex? Surprisingly, no. “It’s far less a sexual thing than the scene,” says Julia. I accepted an invitation to the gallery bar of the Cross Keys, a beautiful old pub in Chelsea, where Out & Out celebrated Valentine’s Day. The mix of men was much as Julia had described, all ages, classes and races, but “the common denominator is intelligence, those who enjoy a dinner party atmosphere as opposed to posing and cruising.”

After a 17 year relationship broke up, lawyer David T found it very difficult to “let loose” again. “In the bars I was very conscious of being older,” he told me, “but here, as you can see, the age range is very wide.” At Out & Out he has made a lot of gay friends, some men he now sees independently. What about romance? None as yet. David feels that Out & Out is primarily a social group. But then I met David L and William R who have been together for three years after meeting at an Out & Out function. “Jules is very good at judging,” said David. “She sits people next to each other if she thinks they’re going to get on. With us, she got it right.” “I didn’t want a gay dating agency when I joined Out and Out,” said William “I was far more interested in networking with professional gay men and meeting new friends….but then I met David, and the rest is history!”

Now David is trying to get William to County Hall! “We’ll invite Mark and Jules,” David promised.

Pankaj Mohan
http://www.articlesbase.com/sexuality-articles/more-to-gay-life-than-sex-55292.html

Florida Congressman Mark Foley has resigned from Congress amid charges and allegations that he had inappropriate e-mail contacts with a former teenage page in the House of Representatives. So what’s the real deal? What’s really going on? You can read the mainline press, and watch television, but you’ll never get to the real story that way. You have to ferret it out for yourself, and that’s what we have done. We have talked with the movers and the shakers, to learn what’s really happening.

First off, no one has a right to violate the sanctity of a teenager’s world. In our country young people are protected and given rights precisely because they are young. They are at an age where they can not protect themselves. It is the sign of an advanced society that we choose to protect them, as well we should.

People who would prey on our children should go to jail for the rest of their lives. There is no need to give such “scum” a second chance. We shouldn’t take that chance by giving them another chance. It is also the symbol of an advanced society that the framers of our constitution went out of their way to protect the rights of criminals. Compared to every other society on earth, here’s one observer that thinks we do a fairly good job. Now having said that what’s going on in Washington?

First off, neither party has a stranglehold on ethics. The Democrats have stolen just as much money through the years as the Republicans. What they spend it on may be different, but the money in both cases seems to DISAPPEAR, with very little to show for it. The first rule of government, and I learned this personally from Noble Prize winning economist Milton Friedman is that, “Whoever is in power, loves to spend money.”

Ronald Reagan was a hero of mine. Nobody could spend money like him, until this President that is. At least Reagan bankrupted the Soviet Union and drove them out of power. What does Bush have to show for his trillions? A war without clearly defined objectives, and hundreds of billions in pork spending that no society can afford. He is the first President in my lifetime that has chosen not to exercise the power of the VETO.

This gay Congressman was not a sleeper. People around him knew his peculiarities. They chose to ignore them for their own reasons. Foley was running to be Senator from Florida a couple of years ago, and the party torpedoed the nomination to give it to Mel Martinez out of fear that word would get out.

The Speaker of the House of Representatives knew something was up and decided to keep quiet. Don’t these guys realize by now that ‘THINGS DON’T BLOW OVER”. Word gets out; it always does; whether it’s Hewlett Packard trying to snuff out corporate eavesdropping, or Enron trying to bury their financial worries in lies to Wall Street. You can only keep that game going so long, and then somehow it goes wrong.

If the impotent Democrats are smart, they will say nothing, and do nothing about this Mark Foley affair. The world of the Republicans is vaporizing right before their eyes. These are men who say they are conservatives, and yet know nothing of conservatism. Barry Goldwater the Arizona conservative Republican Senator who started it all, would be appalled at what is taking place in his party today. He might not be able to call himself a conservative anymore if he were alive.

Foley was in charge of a subcommittee in the House that dealt with exploited children. You talk about living a lie. Where are we as citizens of a free society, if elected officials think that it’s okay to espouse one thing in public, and then do the opposite thing in private.

I would ask our elected officials, “How dumb can you be”? What contribution do you make to society? The rest of us are out here supporting ourselves, making our schools better, and improving our local communities. You guys are just living off the collective decency of the rest of us. You spend money like it’s unlimited. You eat in the finest restaurants, yet your basic paycheck isn’t big enough to support your lifestyle. Who’s paying for these lifestyles? If it’s not the citizens than who, what is expected in return.

Mark Foley is symbolic of something terribly wrong in both parties. It’s an atmosphere of anything goes, and I am above reproach. I am not accountable. Is this really the message we want to send to the next generation. Foley, this sick, mindless Congressman wants to hide behind the notion that he was drunk when he committed these acts. Really, does he really think that the rest of us are going to fall for his mindless chatter?

I mentioned in this article that I am generally optimistic regarding my country. What keeps me optimistic today is the power of the Internet. It is something the founding fathers would have marveled at. Yes, there’s too much “NOISE or CHATTER” out there. Yes, you have to be focused to get pass the sheer density of information that is available to each of us. Ah, once you get passed that noise though, there’s a liberating experience awaiting each of us. We have the power to obtain whatever knowledge we desire on just about any topic.

We are not using that vast knowledge yet, but we will be. It is conceivable that by 2008, the Internet will completely change the look and feel of American politics. The political process as we know it will be unrecognizable compared to where we are today. With information there is power, and people will have choices that they do not have today. There’s a new freedom coming, and with it, a shift of power back to the people.

Richard Stoyeck
http://www.articlesbase.com/advertising-articles/mark-foley-gay-congressman-resignsthe-real-deal-62402.html

Gay Life in Andalucia Background to Andalucia’s Popularity with
the Gay Traveler The Gay traveler has always had an affiliation
with Spain, and since the countries increasing popularity as a
holiday destination in the 1960’s and ‘70’s, Andalucia’s gay
community has thrived. Not only due to the widely open and
accepting Spanish people, holidays are typically a time when
beliefs and prejudices are put aside and the desire to relax,
unwind and to have a good time doing whatever you do takes over.
Perhaps the fact that people are displaced from their usual
surroundings whilst on holiday, results in the removal of
barriers and stereotypes that they may normally have. Several of
these stereotypes exist around the lifestyles and habits of gay
people, and therefore, rightly or wrongly, it is widely accepted
that the climate, beaches, club culture and shopping facilities
of the Costa del Sol have increased Andalucia’s popularity with
the gay market. Likewise, the trend towards rural tourism and
multi-centre holidays has increased gay travelers awareness of
communities that exist in other significant destinations such as
Cadiz, Seville and Cordoba. Another stereotype revolves around
the notion of the ‘pink pound’ which in the UK refers to the
spending power generated by gay consumers. This group has been
historically assumed to be part of a family unit of just two, is
less likely to have children and thus is more likely to be
professional individuals who have concentrated on their career
rather than their family. It has been concluded that these
individuals are more likely to have greater earning potential
and less daily outgoings upon which to spend. During a time when
Andalucia has seen so much change so rapidly, and where the
Costa del Sol has been considered a fashionable and exclusive
resort, it’s perhaps not surprising that much of this ‘pink’
money has been spent in Andalucia. Gay Marriage A key
influencing figure in the prospect of increased gay settlers in
Andalucia will be the recent legalization of gay marriage, with
Spain being one of a handful of countries that has done so.
Homosexuality was illegal in Spain before 1978, when the
constitution within which it was legalized was agreed. This
acceptance of gay unity as a viable and now legal alternative to
the more traditional one man one woman marriage earned Spain
much notoriety within the Catholic Church where it was still
seen as unacceptable. But, to there credit, Spain decided that
it was the right way to go, and the recognition of gay
relationships in a legal and formal capacity was realized. Gay
Lifestyle Much of gay lifestyle centres around the café/club
culture, and in Andalucia, this is in abundance. Due mainly to
the climate, the café scene thrives where outside and pavement
dinning and socializing is the norm. Licensing laws in Spain
have a larger effect on the gay scene and most clubs stay open
into the early hours of the morning, with few opening much
before 10.00pm. Club life in Andalucia centres around current
music fashions and trends, and most famously amongst the
community, within the Nogalera area of Torremolinos on the Costa
del Sol. Cabaret, which still proves to be an extremely popular
theme in many gay friendly establishments, will be found in any
significant resort, and it’s not unusual to see very colourful
cabaret with a gay or camp undertone even in the smallest of
provincial towns! Support Groups There are several groups
offering support to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender
people in Andalucia. You can normally find associations within
most large towns and cities, and likewise within the provincial
towns there will be a presence of some description, no matter
how small. Such organizations will help gay people to integrate
into the community, offer help and assistance in most matters,
and give advice about socializing and community groups where you
can meet new friends Information can be obtained from one of the
larger groups, COLEGA (Colectiva de Lesbianas y Gais en
Andalucia) which will be found in all the major cities and on
the internet at http://www.colegaweb.net Conclusion It goes
without saying that the gay community has embraced all that is
on offer in Andalucia and has really made it its own. Admirably,
gay people have utilized and added to the already colourful and
vibrant Andalucia life in a way that other communities have
never even considered. It’s not unusual to assume that the gay
communities’ love of Andalucia will continue to grow, with more
people using the region for holidays, a place to live and work
and to ultimately retire and settle.

More information of living, working and settling in Spain can be
obtained at http://www.acsentra.com Acsentra S.L., Plaza de
España, 41564 - Lora de Estepa, Sevilla, Spain

Barry Joinson
http://www.articlesbase.com/travel-articles/gay-life-in-andalucia-620.html